ASSIGNMENT: Review the rubric comments and summary feedback you received on your Touchstone 2.2 draft to deepen and extend your analysis of your topic. Submit a revision of your Touchstone 2.2 draft that reflects the feedback. Include a copy of your Touchstone 2.2 draft below the “Think About Your Writing” questions for this unit.
Sample Revised Image Analysis Essay
Sample Revised Extended Definition Essay
In order to foster learning and growth, all essays you submit must be newly written specifically for this course. Any plagiarized or recycled work will result in a Plagiarism Detected alert. Review this tutorial for more about plagiarism and the Plagiarism Detected alert: Touchstones: Academic Integrity Guidelines. For guidance on the use of generative AI technology, review Ethical Standards and Appropriate Use of AI.
- Directions
Step 1: Revise the Informative Essay
All writers revise their work as part of the writing process. For Touchstone 3, submit a revised version of your Touchstone 2.2 informative essay. The process of revising involves “re-thinking” your essay. Your revision should reflect your attention to the following:
- Rhetorical situation
- Focus
- Organization
- Flow
- Style
- Clarity
As you review the grader’s suggestions and feedback of your draft, evaluate how your essay can be improved in each of the areas above. Focus your attention on the areas that would benefit most from revision. You can add, delete, or move text as you revise your essay.
Note the following revision guidelines:
- Do not draft a new essay on a new topic. You must revise your Touchstone 2.2 draft using the feedback provided.
- Allow time between drafts so that you can see your original work from a new perspective.
- Revision is different from editing and proofreading; however, be sure to edit and proofread your revised essay before you submit it.
BIG IDEA
Revise your Touchstone 2.2 essay using the revision strategies you learned in Unit 3. This revision should reflect significant changes from your first draft, and should incorporate the feedback you received on Touchstone 2.2.
Step 2. Think About Your Writing
Include answers to all of the following reflection questions below your completed revision.
1 How much time did you spend revising your draft? Which revision strategies did you use, and which of them worked best for you? (2-3 sentences) Sophia says: A good revision takes time. This is your opportunity to re-think, rearrange, and re-evaluate your writing. Which revision strategies did you use? Do you still agree with your thesis? Do you believe that your evidence supports your thesis and that you have met the requirements of the assignment?
2 How did the revision process improve your essay? (2-3 sentences) Sophia says: Compare your draft to your revision. Have you added relevant details or removed irrelevant ones? Have you changed the order of details or paragraphs? Have you added transitions for better flow? In which ways is your revision better than your draft?
3 What did you learn about your writing process or yourself as a writer? (2-3 sentences) Sophia says: Think about the entire process of drafting and revising this essay. Did any part of the process surprise you or reveal something unexpected?
Step 3. Review Rubric and Checklist
Your essay and reflection will be scored according to the Informative Rubric, which considers your revision and edits, effectiveness in addressing the writing prompt for either the advertisement image analysis essay OR the extended definition essay, the working thesis, organization, style and tone, focus, conventions and proofreading, and your responses to the “Think About Your Writing” questions.
Apple iPhone and Samsung Phone Analysis
The 2000s will be considered an important period in the history of technology. It was during this period that there were major advancements in cell phone technology as a dramatic shift happened from the cellphones to smartphones. It was one of the greatest evolutions that completely changed the cell phone industry (Melumad & Pham, 2020). Apple, Inc. was the company that pioneered the shift to smartphones with its first smartphone, the iPhone. In 2007, Apple introduced the first smartphone to the world, the iPhone 1. The iPhone 1 as a game changer in the industry came with unique features that had never been seen before on a cell phone. In 2009, Samsung followed suit with its first smartphone the Samsung GT-I7500. The introduction of the Samsung GT-I7500 led to one of the fiercest competitions in the smartphone market with the two brands trying to outdo each other. The two brands have been consistent in the development of new smartphones with unique features. The current version of the iPhone is the iPhone 15 series while the current Samsung smartphone is the Samsung Galaxy S24 Ultra. This paper is an analysis of the iPhone and Samsung smartphones showing comparisons and differences in various aspects of the two technologies.
Comparison and Contrast of iPhone and Samsung Smartphones
Different aspects can be used in comparing and contrasting the two brands of smartphones. Technology keeps on evolving and the two brands keep on releasing new smartphones with improvements that are meant to outdo each other on the market. However, when comparing the two brands, one has to consider aspects like security, cost, durability, storage space, video and camera capabilities, and brand strategies.
Security
Smartphones are utilized for both personal and professional purposes. This includes using apps, viewing videos, and listening to music. Smartphones have become storage devices for private communications, messages, medical records, email addresses, banking, information, security codes, etc. According to Curran (2018), the predominant security feature is a password, which can be shared or hacked. There are other security features like the usage of a veritable unlock pattern. The iPhone is considered more secure with more security features than the Samsung brands of smartphones. In terms of smartphone security, iOS surpasses Android (Susanto et al., 2016). iOS is the operating system for iPhones while Android is the operating system for Samsung smartphones. Compared to Google, Apple has more stringent security measures in place for its app store. This is because iOS ecosystem devices and their updates are managed more strictly. This means that the iPhone experiences fewer security flaws in comparison to Samsung smartphones.
Durability
Durability is a basic necessity for people with hectic schedules to get through each day. Screen covers and phone bumpers are widely available online and in stores, however, they detract from the smartphone’s intended elegant appearance. Water is one of the other components that can shorten the lifespan of your smartphone. Therefore, durability is an important aspect for the consumer to consider when purchasing a smartphone. The iPhone is considered to be more durable than the Samsung smartphones. One of the key features of the iPhone that has made it attractive in the marketplace is water resistance. This key feature makes this brand more durable than Samsung smartphones.
Cost
The cost of the smartphone is an important aspect to consider. The two brands have different marketing strategies that have had an impact on their prices. The iPhone uses a differentiation strategy which makes the product unique leading to the use of a premium pricing strategy (Khare, 2023). Samsung uses a price skimming strategy where the brand sets a price when launching new smartphones to attract the most revenue. The brand will eventually adjust the revenue to suit more consumers in the market. The two different pricing strategies have seen iPhone prices being high as the company leverages the differentiation strategy. Samsung will initially set high prices for new smartphones and eventually lower the prices when the hype on the product ends.
Features
The features of a smartphone will determine its value in the market. Features like storage capacity, video features, camera capabilities, and battery life. The two brands differ in the aspect of features. Samsung smartphones have higher storage capabilities due to their ability to expand on storage. Smartphones allow the user to expand on storage, unlike iPhones. The iPhone batteries are usually smaller than those of Samsung but have a better performance. In terms of camera quality, the two brands can be evenly matched with Samsung differing due to their flexibility.
Conclusion
The two brands have dominated the market for the last decade. They have been able to produce smartphones that are unique and different in their ways. The iPhone differs from the Samsung smartphone due to aspects like security, features, cost, and durability.
References
Khare, A. (2023). An Analysis Of The Role Of Pricing Strategies In The Marketing Success Of Apple (Doctoral dissertation).
Melumad, S., & Pham, M. T. (2020). The smartphone is a pacifying technology. Journal of Consumer Research, 47(2), 237-255.
Susanto, H., Almunawar, M. N., Leu, F. Y., & Chen, C. K. (2016). Android vs iOS or Others? SMD-OS security issues: generation y perception. International Journal of Technology Diffusion (IJTD), 7(2), 1-18.
Image Analysis: Volkswagen Ad
The automobile industry is competitive and companies have to outdo each other both with the advertisements and the products. Volkswagen is a German automobile manufacturer that has been in existence since 1937 (Mačaitytė & Virbašiūtė, 2018). The Volkswagen Touareg is part of the collection by the company. The print ad for the Volkswagen Touareg is unique and is meant to leave a lasting impression on the audience. The print ad shows a mountain goat shaved like a poodle. It is hilarious as the animal looks quite weird living and picture that would be difficult to forget. The print ad moves away from the traditional car advertisements which will never show cars off as slim. This paper is an analysis of the print ad for Volkswagen Touareg. The analysis involves a look at the target audience, the context of the ad, and the purpose of the ad.
Audience
Volkswagen like most car companies uses demographic segmentation to target its customers. The company targets different groups of customers for their products including both upper class and middle-upper class. This is because the company has over the years been able to produce vehicles for each class. The premium brands that are manufactured by the company will normally target upper-class customers. The demographics also include age and gender. The company targets customers of all ages where the young customers will normally go for the sporty versions while the older generations will go for the luxury models.
The print ad is based on the demographic segmentation used by the company. The Volkswagen Touareg is a luxury mid-size SUV. This means the print ad for the Volkswagen Touareg is targeting the older generation and those who are upper class and middle-upper class. This target audience would be able to understand the print ad where the Volkswagen Touareg is represented by a mountain goat that is shaved like a poodle. The target audience would be able to understand that the Volkswagen Touareg is a tough vehicle which is hereby by a mountain goat. The older generation tends to enjoy off-road vehicles and would clearly understand the image.
Context
The print ad is unique as it shows a mountain goat shaved as a poodle. It is quite hilarious as the two animals are nowhere similar to each other. However, there is a meaning behind the picture of a mountain goat shaved as a poodle. The Volkswagen Touareg has been likened to a mountain goat in the picture. The Volkswagen Touareg is an off-road, tough car, and is also considered luxurious. The off-road tough car aspect of the vehicle is depicted by the picture of a mountain goat. Mountain goats are tough animals that live off cliffs. Their physical prowess is shown in different ways including their ability to jump off over 12 feet in a single leap (Koeth, 2008). The many tough characteristics of the mountain goat are expressed in the Volkswagen Touareg. Therefore, the target audience of the print ad should be able to understand that the vehicle is as tough as a mountain goat.
The other characteristic of the Volkswagen Touareg is that the vehicle is luxurious. The poodle is an expensive animal mostly known for their stylish looks and intelligence. The image explains the stylish looks of the poodle and likens it to the Volkswagen Touareg. That is why the picture shows a mountain goat that is shaved as a poodle. The Volkswagen Touareg therefore considered a stylish vehicle that is also tough.
Purpose
The image in the print ad is white. In marketing, white is usually used to convey the feeling of purity, sophistication, efficiency, and safety. The issue of safety has been rampant in automobiles. The use of white the also highlights sophistication and efficiency of the Volkswagen Touareg. The audience is supposed to depict the automobile as a sophisticated and efficient vehicle just by looking at the color used. The printed message on the print ad explains that the print ad is about the Volkswagen Touareg. There is also the logo of the company, Volkswagen which is to help the audience understand the print ad.
The overall purpose of the print ad is to show the various aspects of the Volkswagen Touareg to the audience. The audience is supposed to understand the various aspects of the automobile like being an off-road, tough, and luxurious car. The use of humor in the form of a mountain goat shaved as a poodle is supposed to leave a lasting impression in the mind of the audience. The picture is something that the audience will not forget in a long time. The comic used in the picture works well in attracting the audience to the print ad. It may take several minutes for the audience to understand the message of the ad, but the comical aspect will make it worth it.
References
Koeth, C. (2008). Clinging to existence. Montana Outdoors. March-April, 23-27.
Mačaitytė, I., & Virbašiūtė, G. (2018). Volkswagen emission scandal and corporate social responsibility–a case study.
Review the rubric comments and summary feedback you received on your Touchstone 2.2 draft
- **Rhetorical Situation**: Consider your audience, purpose, and context. Make sure your essay effectively addresses the needs and expectations of your audience while fulfilling the purpose of informing them about your chosen topic. Ensure that your tone and language are appropriate for your audience.
- **Focus**: Review the main idea or thesis statement of your essay. Make sure it is clear, specific, and adequately addresses the topic. Revise any sections of your essay that wander off-topic or don’t contribute to your main argument.
- **Organization**: Evaluate the overall structure of your essay. Check if your introduction effectively introduces the topic and provides necessary background information. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that your ideas flow logically from one paragraph to the next. Consider reorganizing sections if needed to improve the coherence of your essay.
- **Flow**: Pay attention to the transitions between sentences, paragraphs, and sections. Ensure that your ideas connect smoothly and that readers can follow your line of reasoning without confusion. Use transitional words and phrases to guide your readers through your essay.
- **Style**: Review your writing style and tone. Aim for clarity, conciseness, and precision in your language. Eliminate any unnecessary jargon or overly complex language that may hinder comprehension. Make sure your voice is consistent throughout the essay.
- **Clarity**: Clarify any ambiguous or unclear points in your essay. Provide additional explanation or examples where necessary to ensure that your readers fully understand your arguments and conclusions. Consider incorporating visual aids such as graphs, charts, or images to enhance clarity if appropriate.
After revising your essay based on these considerations, be sure to edit and proofread carefully to correct any errors in grammar, punctuation, spelling, or formatting. Allow yourself enough time to step away from your essay before revisiting it with fresh eyes to ensure thorough revision.
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